5 REALISTIC TIPS for Maintaining Sexual Boundaries in Dating
- sydneylaroe2
- Mar 7
- 3 min read
If anyone is a hopeless romantic, its me.
I love romance and feeling close to my partner in every way.
But what do we do when our faith matters more than our desire for sex? Well, through trial and error, I have some strong tips.
Lets talk about them <3!
Keep turn-ons to yourself
Don’t talk about sex with your partner if you’re not engaged or married. If you exchange turn-ons and are constantly telling your partner when you’re horny, you’re leaving doors AND windows open for sexual activity. don’t talk about sex because that conversation does not belong in the beginning portion of your relationship. You’re still figuring out if you understand each other, whether you prioritize the same things, how to navigate conflict, and so much more. Whats their favorite childhood memory? Which childhood home was their favorite? Did they ever make a huge mistake in high school that they still remember? Be curious about them. There is never-ending information to learn about people and I recommend prioritizing learning the persons thoughts and feelings over their body. If you become engaged or married, there will be plenty of time to talk about turn-ons and all the tingles.
Always Keep Your Body Moving and Your Mind Somewhere Clean
1 Corinthians 6:18
“Flee from sexual immorality.”
2 Timothy 2:22
“Flee the evil desires of youth and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace.”
On the note of getting to know your partner, play lots of card games (Q & A games)!
Here are links to the games we played (affiliate links):
Table Topics Couples Conversation Cards - 135 cards:
WE’RE NOT REALLY STRANGERS - couples edition - 3 levels, 150 cards, ages 15+:
WE’RE NOT REALLY STRANGERS- honest dating expansion pack- 50 cards, ages 18+:
(Be aware that not all of these are clean and you will need to remove some cards in relation to sex. Keep them in the box and save them for engagement though ;) !
Go on hikes, go rollerskating, go to a park, serve at church together, clean the beach together. Try to always be with family or in public. These help keep your mind and body occupied with the things that will provide actual useful information towards finding out if this is your person.
Plan For Mistakes
Whatever you think you can handle, take it one step backwards. IF you think you can kiss, but it’s iffy on if it may or may not escalate, don’t do it. Don’t even allow a foothold from the enemy. Be as sexually guarded as possible and try.
Philippians 4:8
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure… think about such things.”
Proverbs 4:23
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”
This way, if you make a mistake, there’s wiggle room to take everything a step backwards and reset.
1 Corinthians 10:12
“So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall.”
Safety Word
Come up with a code word that notifies your partner about when you need to take physical space from them. It can help to use a word before separating from your partner physically so that they don’t wonder what’s going on when you suddenly back up or can’t hold hands at the moment.
Communicate Communicate Communicate!!!
Learn to self-reflect and be open about when lust is creeping into your mind. Check out one of my other posts where I talk about holding thoughts captive.
There have been moments where I am just sitting in the car, and my love puts his hand on my knee and my brain goes racing.
God gave us these desires for a reason. The intentions behind why God created sex is beautiful.
Sex is meant to be a pleasureful physical and spiritual union for those who are prepared to bond for life.
These desires are not evil, but our design is that we do not act on these desires until we are prepared to be one for life. Therefore, it is crucial to know when tell your partner if there is something you’re unable to handle at the moment. Communicate your boundaries politely and as clearly and concisely as possible. We are teaching our partners how to love us. Slowly give them some care instructions for your heart and see if they respect them.
You got this! Hold strong; Jesus loves you, HE is your fortress and He is worthy of your trust.
i love you but Jesus loves you more.
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